Defensive (Guarded Heart #1) Read online

  He looked over at Jackson and Eric. “He seems like a really nice guy. You deserve that.”

  “You deserve a really nice girl.”

  He looked at me thoughtfully. “How is she?”

  “She’s good. She’s single, too.”

  He bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. After a beat he finally spoke, “I’m glad. But it doesn’t really matter that she’s single. She won’t ever forgive me and I can’t really blame her.”

  “We all make mistakes in college. I married Shane.” I laughed.

  “That’s a little different.”

  I grabbed his arm. “Maybe. Come on, let’s go get a closer look at the monkeys.”

  A couple of hours later, we were hanging out at the zoo restaurant and munching on burgers and fries. My brother spoke up. “So… I have some news. Eric and I are moving back to OKC. I got offered a job that I couldn’t refuse.”

  My excitement level went up. I had missed not being close to my brother. We had been not only siblings but friends once, before he broke Amanda’s heart. I was hopeful we could be close again, especially with him moving back. “I am so excited!”

  “We can play some basketball together now. What do you say to that?” Jackson asked Eric.

  “That would be amazing! Wait until I tell Zach at school on Monday. He’ll be jealous.” We all laughed at his excitement.

  “I think we’ll be back next weekend to look for places. I gave a month’s notice at my current job so it’ll be a little bit.”

  I thought about it and I figured I’d need to let Amanda know. Maybe a month would ease her into the idea that he would be a lot closer. I took out my phone and texted her.

  Me: I have something to tell you. I’ll call you tonight or maybe you can come over.

  Amanda: Are you pregnant???????

  Me: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Amanda: Call me later and we’ll meet up.

  “You’re staying with me tonight, right?” Jackson asked as we drove back to his place after we saw every animal the zoo had to offer.

  “I don’t know. I really need to hang out with Amanda tonight. I need to tell her about Landon moving back.”

  “If you’re just going to hang out, just have her come over. I’ll be gone to practice so y’all can talk about whatever girls talk about while I’m gone. Please. I’m gone so much during the season, I want to come home to you.”

  “I can’t spend every night at your place, but I can tonight.”

  “Thank you, but why can’t you spend the night at my place every night?” he asked.

  “Because I have a place of my own,” I told him then quickly looked out the window.

  “Look at me.” He waited until I looked back at him. “You could just move in with me. I mean, we love each other, right?”

  “Of course we love each other. But I just don’t think that’s a good idea right now. It’s too soon.”

  “Fine. But as soon as you change your mind, the offer still stands. How about we compromise?”

  I turned my body toward him. “Compromise how?”

  “When I’m in town, you stay at my place and when I’m gone, you stay at your place.”

  I thought about it for a minute and it did make sense. “Okay, deal.”

  He gave me his mega sexy smile and kissed my hand.

  After Jackson left for practice, I texted Amanda to tell her to come over.

  Me: Hey, I’m at Jackson’s want to come over?

  Amanda: Sure, be over in a bit.

  An hour later, the doorbell rang and I opened it to see Amanda standing there with a six pack of beer and take out chips and queso.

  “I hope you haven’t eaten yet,” she said. “I had a craving so I stopped by and got us some chips and queso from Chelino’s.”

  “I haven’t but even if I had, I’d still eat that,” I told her as she entered through the doorway.

  “So what did you want to talk to me about?” she asked as she put the bag and beer on the kitchen counter.

  I didn’t really know how she would react to Landon moving to town. “Let’s have a beer first,” I said as I pulled two beers from the pack that was still cold.

  “So you’re definitely not pregnant,” she said eyeing the beer. “But you’re kinda scaring me.”

  “Nothing to be scared about. Let’s just drink a little first.”

  “Whatever. Can we take the queso into the living room or will the basketball star get mad about that?” she asked.

  “You’ve met him, right? I don’t think he’d care. It would bother me more than him if we stained his furniture.”

  “I figured that, but I felt like I needed to ask instead of just assume. Even after all this time, it’s so weird that my best friend is dating him and I’m hanging out at his house.”

  “I’m the one dating him and I feel weird if I think about it too hard. I mean, not only is he a great player but he’s…”

  “Sexy? You’re a lucky girl, Vanessa. But you deserve it after what the asshole put you through. That’s something else I can’t understand if I think about it. I mean he was such an amazing boyfriend to you and then, like five months after you say ‘I do,’ he’s like the biggest asshole in the world.”

  I sat down on the couch. “Yeah. It makes it really hard to believe that Jackson and I will make it because he is so amazing. It’s like I’m just waiting for the other asshole to come out in him.”

  “Just keep your defenses up,” she said, “but you know, in check. So, come on, tell me whatever you need to tell me.”

  I turned my body toward the recliner where she had sat down. “Okay. I actually don’t know if this is a big deal or not.”

  “Spit it out.”

  “Fine. Landon and Eric are moving to the area in a month. He got offered a job here he couldn’t refuse.”

  She sat there for a minute dipping her chip in the queso several times. I was beginning to think she wasn’t going to say anything until she finally looked up at me. “It’s okay. I mean it’s a big city. Doesn’t mean we’ll ever even see each other.” She placed the chip in her mouth and chewed really slowly.

  I knew her and I knew it was bothering her no matter what she said. “I’m really sorry. I know how bad he hurt you but for what it’s worth, he’s been miserable ever since.”

  “I’m sure he isn’t miserable.” She grumbled.

  “Amanda, I don’t mention him much because I know you don’t want to talk about him but he hasn’t dated since Eric’s mom because he’s still in love with you. All he does is work and take care of Eric.”

  “He hasn’t dated at all?” she asked as she took a drink of her beer.

  I took a drink of mine as well before answering her. “No. He says he knows that it would never work with anyone else because he still loves you.”

  “If he was so in love with me, why did he ditch me for a good time?”

  “People do stupid shit at nineteen. Let’s not talk about this anymore. I just wanted you to know he would be living here soon.”

  “Yeah, let’s talk about something else.”

  Jackson

  I was in town so I decided I’d help drive a U-Haul from Tulsa to Oklahoma City to help Landon move. I liked helping people but I’d be lying if I said that was my only reason. I was a suck up. I wanted and needed her dad to like me, to see that I was good for his daughter.

  “Can you help me move that chest in the bedroom to the U-Haul?” Landon asked.

  “Yeah, I’m here to help,” I answered as I strode into the bedroom behind him.

  “Thanks for helping today. You know Eric thinks it’s the coolest thing ever that Vanessa is dating you.”

  “I think it’s the coolest thing ever, too,” I replied, grabbing one end of the chest.

  “She’s been through a lot. It’s nice to see her look happy again. I can hardly remember the last time I saw her this happy.”

  “Were you friends with her ex?” I hated saying his actual name. If you asked me, he
didn’t deserve to be called anything besides Dipshit.

  “We grew up in a small town, so you could say I knew him and hung out with him in high school, but he was never a friend.”

  “I hate him. I’ll kill him if I ever get the chance to be alone with him.”

  “Just remember that hate and be good to my sister,” he said with a warning in his voice.

  I wanted to laugh because he obviously was all talk; otherwise he would’ve taught Shane a lesson already. It didn’t get much worse than what Shane had done to her. “I promise I’ll never purposely hurt her.”

  “Okay. On three, we lift. One. Two. Three.” He lifted his end with a groan as I lifted my end of the chest as well.

  We carried it through the apartment to the U-Haul waiting outside. Vanessa was loading boxes into the truck and I couldn’t wait to take a break from moving furniture to kiss her. As soon as we put the chest down I walked to the where she was located outside the truck and placed my hands around her waist from behind, kissing her neck.

  “Hey, you.” She turned to face me. “You’ve been working hard. I see a little sweat on your forehead.”

  “I’ve got to impress the family. Can’t have your dad see me slacking.”

  She giggled and leaned up to plant another small kiss on my lips. I really wanted to deepen the kiss but I had to remember what I’d just told her. I was here to make her dad like me, not to see me making out with his daughter.

  “I guess I better get back to work,” I told her, leaning my forehead on hers.

  “I guess. I think we’re fixing to take a break, though. My dad gets cranky if he doesn’t get his lunch.”

  “We can’t have that.” I said while pulling her to my side.

  An hour later, I was filling up my plate at Golden Corral. Her dad was adamant that he needed to eat at a buffet because he’d worked so hard. I was pretty sure I saw him lift one box but he was getting old so I excused it.

  I’d just set my plate down when our server came over to check our drink orders. I smiled at her and unrolled my silverware from the napkin.

  “Is there anything else I can get you besides the drinks?” I heard her ask and looked up to see her bending toward me with one hand on the table and her chest pushed out. She wasn’t very old, maybe mid-twenties, and attractive, but I had to feel sorry for her. She could clearly see I was with family and still she felt the need to put herself out there.

  “I think we’re good,” I told her, trying to give her a friendly smile.

  “Are you sure? I’m here to help.” She purred a little.

  I didn’t know whether I wanted to laugh or to be irritated. I groaned. “I said we’re good but I’ll make sure to let you know if my girlfriend or her family needs anything.”

  She straightened. “Okay. I’ll be back with the drinks.”

  “Thanks,” I told her as I dug into my mashed potatoes.

  Vanessa sat down along with her brother and dad.

  “Where’s my buddy?” I asked.

  “Mom’s helping him with his plate. They were waiting on pizza.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “Was there a problem with the drinks? I saw the waitress talking to you for a while,” her dad asked. Of course he would have been watching.

  “No. She was just seeing if we needed anything else.”

  “Odd since we’re at a buffet. Don’t you think, Vanessa?”

  God, he would do this now. To hell with impressing him. I didn’t need Vanessa having any doubts. “I’m not really sure what you’re trying to say, sir, but I was just being nice. I’m not an ass, so, yes, I talked back to her when she asked a question, but that’s just being polite.”

  “As long as you were just being polite.”

  Vanessa placed her fork on her plate roughly. “Look, Dad, you need to stop. I know you’re just looking out for me, but just stop it. I’m a big girl and if Jackson hurts me that’s my problem and no one else’s.”

  “I’m sorry but as your father I’m always going to watch out for you. I wish I had done a better job in the past.”

  “I’m not going to hurt her. I love her,” I told everyone at the table. “I know you want to watch out for her but you don’t have to do that where I’m concerned. I’m not a cheater.” Then I leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Please know that. I’m in love with you, babe. I won’t hurt you.”

  She nodded and I kissed her temple.

  Vanessa’s mom and Eric came and sat down. “Finally got my pizza!” He exclaimed.

  “That pizza looks good, buddy. Can I have it?” I teased.

  “Get your own. I waited for it and now I’m eating it,” he said before taking a huge bite.

  I loved this kid. He was really well behaved and funny. I couldn’t help but think of one day having a child with Vanessa. She would be an amazing mom.

  “Now that I’ll be living close, will you come play basketball with me?” he asked me. “I saw that the place we’re moving to has a basketball court.”

  “Sure. I’d love that.” I couldn’t help but grin. It sounded like a lot of fun.

  The rest of the meal was friendly but I couldn’t help wanting to scream at her dad. Didn’t he know how fragile Vanessa was? She’d never allow herself to be happy if he kept making her doubt me. Doubt that she could ever make me happy.

  “I guess that wasn’t too bad. At least he had everything boxed up,” I told Vanessa as we were driving to my place after unloading everything at Landon’s and Eric’s new apartment.

  “True, but I’m exhausted. A nice hot bath sounds nice.” She must’ve noticed my scrunched up nose. “What? You don’t think a nice hot bath sounds nice?”

  “I think a nice hot shower sounds nice. Why would I want to sit in ass water?”

  “Ass water? Really, Jackson?” she asked with a smile tugging on her lips.

  I changed lanes, then answered her. “Baths are gross. You are basically sitting in your own filth.”

  “Fine. You shower and I’ll sit in ass water and relax,” she said while giggling. It was one of the best sounds ever.

  That night, after we had showered and bathed, I crawled into bed with Vanessa. “Are you and Amanda coming to the game Monday night?” I asked.

  “I can’t. Remember? My students are having that play Friday and rehearsals every night this week. I have to be there. I gave my two tickets to Landon and Eric. I hope that’s okay.”

  “Of course it’s all right,” I told her before giving her a kiss on the cheek. She immediately tilted her head toward me, making me capture her lips with mine. I could never get tired of kissing her. Either she was just an amazing kisser or we were made to kiss each other; it was probably a little of both.

  She opened her mouth and let my tongue take full advantage. I gently massaged her tongue with my own and then I pulled away, kissing her jaw all the way up to the soft spot below her ear. I kissed and sucked on the area, making her moan, before I kissed all the way down her neck toward her chest. I pulled away, taking a moment to enjoy the sight of her. She was gorgeous and she was mine. I wanted to make her understand that I was also hers and she didn’t need to worry about being hurt again.

  “I love you so much. You know that, right?” I asked, looking into her eyes.

  “I do,” she said but I could see it was something she wanted to believe rather than actually believing it. “I love you, too.” I could also see that statement was something she actually did believe.

  I leaned down and kissed her thoroughly, trying to show her she could actually believe me. She was the most important thing in my life. She was above everything.

  Vanessa

  The kids were starting to get bored from singing the same songs ten times and I was exhausted. I was done with the day. All I wanted was to eat something and crawl into bed.

  “How much longer do you think they’ll practice?” a parent asked from beside me.

  “Honestly, I don’t think they can do much more than five minutes, but
I’m not the one in charge.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, half an hour ago I thought they should’ve called it quits.”

  I took a good look at him. He wasn’t a parent from my class, but he was really good looking. He wasn’t Jackson good looking but he was still very handsome. I immediately thought of Amanda and checked to see if he was wearing a wedding ring. No ring. If she wasn’t going to forgive my brother, then she needed to quit bouncing from loser to loser. I wanted her to feel the happiness I felt with Jackson.

  “I am so tired. I feel like I could go to bed and sleep for days,” I told Amanda as we ate at our favorite restaurant later that night.

  “Are you getting sick? If you are, please don’t breathe on me. I can’t afford to miss a day at work.”

  “I promise I won’t breathe on you. I don’t think I’m getting sick, though.”

  She smirked. “Maybe you’re pregnant.”

  “I can’t be pregnant. I’m on birth control and I’m very good about taking it.” I told her before taking a bite.

  “It’s common knowledge that it fails sometimes.”

  “Well, I can’t be pregnant. Jackson and I have only been dating a couple months.” I quickly tried to remember my last period and couldn’t. Shit! Just then a waiter came by with what smelled like fish and I instantly wanted to gag. I was sure it was my mind playing tricks on me.

  Amanda noticed. “Hmmm. Maybe we’ll stop by Target on the way home and get a test.” My eyes went wide and she continued. “Just to make sure. I’m sure you’re not but it’s better to know sooner rather than later.”

  “Okay. I guess you’re right.” I decided to change the subject. “Are you still dating that guy from work?”

  “No. He’s a freak. He emailed and texted me every five minutes and it turns out that he still lives with his mom,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Maybe he just really liked you and that’s why he texted and called all the time?”

  “You did hear me say that he still lives with his mom, right? No. I can’t get with a mama’s boy.” She took a drink of her margarita.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. Amanda was very matter-of-fact. “How did you tell him it was over?” I asked.