Trying to Get Over You Read online

  “You care about him as a friend. You’re in love with Cooper. Hey, is that a new bracelet?”

  “Cooper gave it to me today. It’s a charm bracelet. The charm is a heart with a line through it, like a beat.”

  “I think you need to talk to your doctor about your hormones making you do crazy shit. You really aren’t thinking clearly.” She got up and headed for her bedroom.

  By Friday, the day of Chris’s going away party, and I hadn’t heard from Cooper since Monday, when he dropped me off at my doorstep. I’d tried texting him that night and calling him Tuesday morning, but he didn’t respond. I felt horrible that I had hurt him so badly. Lately I was feeling as if everything I did hurt him.

  At around noon, just as I was getting out of bed to take my shower, my phone started ringing. It was Chris. I answered. “Hello.”

  “Hey, it’s me.”

  “What’s up?” I asked as I flopped back on the bed.

  “I have a favor to ask, and you may not like it.”

  “Okay. What is it?”

  “Can you please not bring that Ben guy tonight? I really don’t think Cooper can take seeing the two of you together right now.”

  I rolled onto my stomach, “Of course. I wasn’t planning on bringing him anyway. He has some banquet thing tonight, plus I don’t want to hurt Cooper.”

  “You sure about that, Sis?”

  “What? You know I would never hurt Cooper on purpose!” I practically shouted into the phone.

  “Okay. Whatever you say,” he said, as if he didn’t believe me. “I gotta go. See ya tonight.”

  “Bye.” I ended the call and noticed that I had fisted my sheets from anger.

  I placed the phone on my nightstand, then went to take a shower. As I was rinsing my hair, I heard Jen come in.

  “Hey, Em, did Chris call you?” she asked.

  I continued to rinse out my hair, “Yes. Just a little bit ago.”

  “So are you going to bring him with you?”

  “No. He has plans tonight.”

  “So you’d bring him if he didn’t have plans?”

  “I didn’t say that. Why does everyone think I am out to hurt Cooper?” I could feel my anger boiling up inside of me. How dare they think that I was just dating Ben to hurt Cooper!

  “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that, well, he is hurting pretty bad, right now. This Vegas trip has kind of threw him for a loop. I guess he—well, hell, all of us—didn’t think it was that serious between you and Ben.”

  I didn’t want my anger to get the best of me, but it would if I didn’t stop the conversation, quickly. “It’s not that serious, and you know it. Can you please let me take my shower?”

  “I’ll let you finish your shower. I’m sorry if I pissed you off.”

  I placed my forehead on the shower wall as I heard her close the door to leave. I stood under the water, trying to let it wash away all of my anger and frustration. I felt as if everyone was mad at me for making a choice regarding my life. It wasn’t anyone’s business but mine who I spent my time with, romantically or otherwise.

  I was still angry when I got out of the shower so I could get dressed. I cussed under my breath as I was putting on my makeup. How dare they judge me? They didn’t have a clue what I was going through, being single and pregnant, wanting to be with the one person I couldn’t trust to stick around.

  After getting dressed and leaving the apartment, I drove to the mall. I found myself aimlessly wondering around the different stores. I passed a maternity clothing store and decided I might need to look around at the different maternity styles. They weren’t the cutest clothes I had ever seen, but they were cuter than I’d expected.

  I really liked a few shirts that the sales associate promised would “grow with” me. The jeans were a little scary-looking, with the big blue stretch band located on the top. I hoped that the maternity shirts would cover that up.

  By around eight p.m., I had managed to walk the entire mall and a few retail stores outside the mall. I was getting pretty tired, but I couldn’t skip out on my own brother’s going-away party. The party was at a local bar-slash-pool hall that had rooms that could be rented for parties.

  I walked in and scanned the room. Of course Chris was there, with a few people standing around him. Out of the twenty or so people in the room, Chris and Jen were the only ones I knew. I went over to my brother to let him know I was there. “Hey Chris. Congrats! You know I’m going to miss you like crazy.”

  He pulled me into a hug. “Thanks for coming. Are you mad at me about my call earlier?”

  I playfully pushed his shoulder. “Of course not. You were just looking out for your friend. Just remember that I love him and would never intentionally hurt him, but I have to live my life too.”

  “I know. I’m sorry I made it seem that you would do something like that.”

  “Hey,” I cut in, before he could say anything else. “This is your night. Let’s not talk about this, and let’s focus on you.”

  “All right. Thanks for coming. Did you see Jen flirting with the bartender?”

  He sounded irritated. I wasn’t sure what that was about, but I didn’t feel like asking him.

  “I saw her. I’m going to go talk to her now. You know I’m happy for you, but I’m going to miss you so much.” I then went over to Jen. Her light blue sundress exposed a lot of her chest. She didn’t have much, but what she did have, she let everyone see.

  “Hey, pretty lady,” I said as I situated myself onto the bar stool next to her.

  “Oh, hey. Are you still mad at me? I really didn’t mean to make you mad earlier.”

  “I’m not mad anymore. Let’s just not talk about it. It’s bad enough that he will be here soon, and he hasn’t returned any of my phone calls since he dropped me off on Monday.”

  She gave me a side hug. “Just give him time. I’m sure he hasn’t given up on the two of you just yet.”

  As she finished her sentence, I noticed Cooper come in, his arm draped around a gorgeous brunette. She was tall and curvy, with flawless looking skin.

  I felt as though I had been punched in the gut. Seeing him with another girl felt so much worse than I could have ever dreamed. The other day, when I saw him walking in the restaurant parking lot with another woman, was a cakewalk compared to seeing him with his arm around that girl.

  “I’m sure it’s nothing,” Jen reassured me. “Just him trying to deal with everything.”

  “I’m sure you’re right, and I can’t really complain, now can I? This is exactly how he has been feeling, knowing I am dating Ben.” I said back to her. Tears were starting to form in my eyes, but I was able to hold them back.

  It was when I made eye contact with Cooper that I thought my world was going up in flames. He looked at me as if he hated me.

  He broke the stare to look down at the girl while she spoke to him, in a way that he used to look at me. He couldn’t possibly have cared about her the way he cared for me, but that thought didn’t make seeing it any easier.

  I decided I would make him speak to me, even if it was just to introduce us. I reached them just in time to see her raise up on her tiptoes and plant a kiss on his cheek. I blinked back my tears and cleared my throat. “Hi, Cooper. Are you going to introduce me to your friend?”

  “Oh yeah. Sorry. Elizabeth, this is Chris’s sister, Emily.”

  I knew I had hurt him, but for him to call me Chris’s sister, and not anything more, hurt a lot.

  I extended my hand. “Nice to meet you, Elizabeth. Have you two known each other long?”

  “We’ve known each other a few years.” she replied.

  I’m pretty sure my face went cold, and my eyes widened. What the hell did that mean?

  Cooper must have realized what I was thinking because he interjected, “We had a few classes together over the years. This past week, we ran into each other and have spent some time together.”

  “Oh, okay. Well, I’ll let you two enjoy your nigh
t.” I left the two of them, to return to the bar with Jen. She was turned around watching everyone. I sat down and noticed a few people starting to dance.

  She hopped off the barstool. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to make Chris dance with me.”

  “Okay, but the girl he is dancing with might get a little mad.”

  “I don’t care how mad she gets.” She said while walking away.

  I watched her exchange with Chris and the random girl he was dancing with, noting how, Jen got him to dance with her almost immediately.

  My attention was pulled to the middle of the dance floor where, Cooper and Elizabeth had started dancing. It was a slow song, and he had her pulled tight, looking into her eyes. It hurt so much to watch, but I couldn’t look away. At that moment, I really wished I could have a drink. A hard drink, but of course I had to settle for water.

  A few hours went by, and I just sat at the bar the entire time. I eventually needed to pee from all of the water I had drunk, so I headed to the bathroom. I opened the door to the bathroom to see Elizabeth standing at the counter.

  “Hi,” she said.

  I mustered up the fakest smile I could. “Hi. Are you having fun?”

  “Yes. Cooper is so much fun. I’m so glad he is finally single. I’ve always liked him, but all he would ever talk about was his girlfriend. I guess they lived together.”

  In that moment, I hated her so much. I wanted to put my fist through her mouth or tell her that he had some STD but I went with being nice instead. “He’s a great guy. One of a kind actually.”

  I couldn’t say anything else nice to her, so I walked into one of the stalls. I stayed there long after I was finished, not wanting to see the two of them together.

  I’d stayed long enough in that bathroom. I had to be brave. I caused all this. If Cooper had called me back the past week, I would have broken things off with Ben, but I shouldn’t have ever started that thing with Ben. It was a bad idea. I should have either stayed with Cooper or learned to be by myself.

  Walking back out into the party room, I noticed Chris dancing with Jen again. I quickly scanned the room for Cooper and Elizabeth and found them seated in the corner, with her on his lap. I wanted to run, but Josh, Cooper’s friend, came up to me, his arms extended for a hug.

  “I was hoping to dance with the prettiest girl in this place,” he yelled over the music.

  “I don’t know where she is. What does she look like?” I joked.

  “Come over here and dance with me.” He grabbed my hand, pulling me out onto the dance floor. He didn’t talk to me or ask me questions, just danced.

  I was grateful. If he asked me any questions regarding Cooper, I was afraid I would cry.

  I danced a few songs with Josh, then decided to call it a night. I had gotten extremely tired from all of the emotions of the day plus all of the walking I had done earlier. I went over to Chris, jumping in front of the few friends who were gathered around him. “I’m going to take off. I’m getting really tired.”

  From behind me, I heard Cooper say, “So are we.”

  I turned around to see Cooper standing almost directly behind me, with Elizabeth snuggled up beside him. I had the urge to rip her arm off of him, but I resisted. I wanted—no, needed—to get the hell out of there.

  “Well, congratulations, Chris.” I gave him a hug.

  I didn’t want to look at Cooper again, so I kept my head down and sidestepped away from everyone, towards the door. I was practically running by the time I got to the exit. I walked as fast as I could to my car.

  Back at my car, I sat in the seat with it running, taking deep, calming breaths. I looked up just in time to watch Cooper and Elizabeth walk to his SUV. He didn’t seem to be as in to her as he had been inside the bar, but she was all over him.

  I couldn’t watch them any longer, so I put the car in gear and drove away.

  On Wednesday, a few weeks later, I was sitting with Jen at the dining room table, eating breakfast.

  “Hey, why don’t we go out tonight?” she asked. “Tomorrow you won’t want to do anything because of your early flight on Friday.”

  “Oh. Don’t remind me about going to Vegas. I feel really awful about what I’ve done.”

  “What are you talking about? What have you done?”

  I didn’t try to stop the tears. “Everything. I started dating Ben because I wanted to get over Cooper, but that was wrong, even if Ben is just using me until I get big and pregnant. I should have just dealt with being single like a big girl, but instead I have been using him, thinking I’ll get over Cooper, and the real truth is that I’ll never get over Cooper. I’m moving in with him and having his baby. I’ve made so many bad choices lately.”

  I was sobbing and rambling. Everything I had been feeling came out in full force; I couldn’t control it.

  Jen grabbed me and gave me a huge hug. She pulled me up and guided me over to the couch. “Hey, we all make mistakes. I’m sure a lot of it is because you’re scared. You’re going to be a young mom; who wouldn’t be scared? I’m sure your hormones are all over the place right now, which makes you act crazy, too. You’ve had a lot to deal with.”

  I was still sobbing and letting her hug me when her phone started buzzing next to us on the couch. She let go of me to grab her phone. She texted something back while I tried to get control over myself.

  When she was finished texting, I told her, “I should probably call Ben and cancel our trip to Vegas.”

  She turned her body to face me, “No, don’t do that. Don’t you think that would be a little rude to cancel two days before you’re supposed to go? It was your birthday present. Just go and don’t let anything happen. You can end things when you get back.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. See, it’s like I can’t make adult decisions lately.” I said as I picked at fuzz on the couch.

  “Hey, let’s just watch really bad television all day and then have some fun tonight, okay?”

  “Sounds like a plan to me.” I agreed, then turned my attention to her, “Jen?”

  “What?” She looked me in the eyes.

  “Thanks for being there for me, even when I’m not making the best choices.”

  “That’s what best friends are for.”

  That night, we walked into a restaurant for dinner, and I was feeling better. Spending the day laughing with Jen had put me in better spirits. I had dressed up in some cute skinny jeans, since I knew I wouldn’t have many more chances to wear them for a while. I had paired the jeans with a cute dressy top and sandals.

  We had just ordered our food when I asked her a question that had been bothering me since Chris’s party. “So what is up with you and my brother?”

  She slowly looked up from her menu, eyes wide, “What are you talking about?”

  I’d been friends with her a long time. She was lying. “Don’t bullshit me. I saw the two of you dancing at his party. He ditched that other girl to dance with you. Not to mention that one morning he was at the apartment really early. Just tell me what the hell is going on.”

  “Fine. We saw each other a few times, but that is it. He lives in Dallas now, and I still live here.” Tears glittered in her eyes.

  “Oh my gosh. You really like him, don’t you?”

  “I do. It came out of nowhere. The morning he was at the apartment, I had gone home with him, and then we started talking—you know, like really talking—and we both just kind of fell for each other.”

  “So why didn’t you tell me you guys are dating? I’m so happy for the two of you.”

  “We never really started dating because we both knew he was moving and then we didn’t want to hurt you or Cooper.”

  “Why would that hurt me or Cooper? You and Chris’ love lives aren’t any of our business.”

  “I know but we knew it wouldn’t work out anyway.” Her gaze locked on something behind me. “We just decided to keep it secret and enjoy it while it lasted.”

  After she finished talking, I turn
ed around to see what she was looking at.

  Cooper sat alone at the bar. His head was down, his shoulders slumped. I noticed a few empty shot glasses in front of him. That couldn’t be good.

  “You should probably go check on him,” Jen said.

  I looked at her. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course. I got to spend the whole day with you. He looks like he needs someone. I’ll just get my order to go. From the looks of it, he may need a driver.”

  I got out of my chair and gave her a hug. “Thanks.”

  “Not a problem,” she said.

  I went over to the bar and took the barstool to Cooper’s right. “You look like you could use a friend.” I said to him.

  He slowly turned his head, then stared at me for a while.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked finally.

  “I was having dinner with Jen and saw you over here. You look like you’ve had one too many.” I said pointing to the shots.

  “Well, I guess I probably have.”

  “How about you give me your keys, and I’ll drive you home, okay?”

  He kept staring at me. “I’m sorry. I keep trying to figure out if you’re really here, or if I’m drunk enough to dream you up.”

  “I’m really here, Cooper, and I’m driving you home. Come on.”

  “Okay.” He said while trying to stand. He grabbed way too much money from his wallet and threw it on the counter. I put his arm around my neck, so I could help keep him balanced.

  “Damn, I love being this close to you, Em.”

  “Cooper, you’re drunk. Let’s just get you home.” I loved being that close to him too but that wasn’t the night for heart-to-heart conversations.

  “Drunk or not, I like being close to you. You always smell so good. I miss smelling you,” he slurred.

  I couldn’t help but giggle. I was pretty positive he had never told me before how he liked to smell me.

  We drove to Cooper’s apartment in silence. He rested his head on the back of the seat and placed his hand on my thigh. I didn’t really mind it, I figured; it was his way of knowing he wasn’t dreaming me up. I turned on the radio to some music that he liked and watched him out of the corner of my eye, bobbing his head slightly with the music.